Chapter 2: What Were They Thinking?

Digression: Government from the Paleolithic to Philadelphia

Page 56: Internal Social Regulation: Worth

Sis taking a confident pose on some books, but Average Joe jumps in front interrupting.

SIS

PEER PRES-

JOE

Oh, I get it…

HORMONES!

SIS (taken aback)

What? No!

Remember how I brought up gossip a few pages back? That’s how we kept tabs on each other, and that’s how we made sure our peers lived up to our standards!

JOE (thinking it through)

Yeeesss… but how would that have worked?

I imagine we’d be living up to these standards automatically.

For self-regulation to be as natural as you’re saying, we’d have to know how to behave… without stopping to think through every little thing…

…which means our default social regulation can’t be a conscious process, but an unconscious, biological process! A natural one, like any other animal.

(I mean, really, isn’t that where you were going with all this?)

SIS (weighing words gesture)

Kinda…

Well, yes and no…

I mean, at the heart of, uh…

It all works because deep down, we all fundamentally crave

WORTH

…and that is the secret to our success!

SIS (narrating)

When talking about the “why” and “how” of government, we often think of people as self-serving economic units
— each of us acting as individuals, trying to maximize our own self-interest. That sounds good, but it’s wrong. It’s a false assumption, and it’ll give you screwy results.

It’s equally incorrect to say our “default” social order is to help our “blood” — folks who share our same lineage. Again, these ideas of family, tribe, and clan are fairly recent. They’re potent narratives, sure, but they’re not our nature.

I’d argue that our real default — what truly drives human social regulation — is our inherent desire for worth. For the sense that we matter… to the people who matter to us!

Smiling girl clutching a flower

GIRL

You like me! You really like me!

Text box with Sis and Joe cameos.

SIS

Important: Worth is not inherent. You’re not born with it, it’s not automatic just because you exist. It’s really not even a trait you have. Worth is a perception that other people have… about you.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to live today in a culture that says everyone has a basic human value. That narrative is central to so much of constitutional law! But it’s only our present narrative, not a universal truth. And this value still only describes how we feel about you… not how you are.

JOE

And you thought I was wordy!

Fishing people on the beach, one guy repairing a net, one offering to help him, and another guy lazing about.

YOUNG WOMAN (indicating the guy offering to help)

See this guy? He’s a good person. Tries to do the right thing, pulls his weight, cares how you’re doing…

See if you can guess how we all feel about him!

HELPER GUY

Need a hand?

YOUNG WOMAN

Not like that no-good worthless asshole over there — only cares about himself… always there are meal times, but never around when there’s work to do…

Mm-hmm. Guess who ain’t getting a seat at supper any more?

People walking away from an anguished woman.

SIS (narrating)

And worth does drive unconscious, biological self-regulation.

Each of us is a social, communal being who needs the acceptance of others as much as we need food — maybe even more.

A sense of belonging, of being valued, respected… Such things may not be technically necessary for our organs to function, but they are a biological requirement if our minds and bodies are to function properly.

Hardly surprising, it being a matter of life and death and all that.

Handy and Dandy Co Worth-O-Meter.

SIS (narrating)

Because it’s so important, we evolved to be super-aware of how others value our worth. Your brain is constantly monitoring your social status… in real time.

Non-conscious background apps, always on, watch for signals from other people, watch your own behavior, respond with emotions and social signals, and even control how you behave!

Your self-awareness app, for example, watches your own behavior and listens to your own thoughts. How else can you tell whether you’re behaving appropriately?

In a neat trick of unconscious imagination, you can now pre-emptively feel about yourself the way others would feel about you (and modify your behavior accordingly).

Sis and Hobbes

SIS

Hobbes’ “solitary brutish” mankind wouldn’t need a sense of “self,” because it wouldn’t matter whether other people approved of you.

Brain at a lectern.

SIS (narrating)

Why you did something matters, so your storytelling superpower kicks in to explain your own behavior to you — in the context of what’s socially acceptable.

It helps you both make sense of how appropriately you’re acting, and justify yourself to others.

BRAIN

It’s like having your own personal press secretary!

Stick figures

SIS (narrating)

This “meta-cognition” ability is crucial for proper socialization and self-regulation — for building good character.

People who aren’t good at it may not even realize (much less accept) that they’ve done something wrong.

They’re also less willing to compromise, consider alternatives, and build consensus.

JERKS

Hey, don’t blame me!

Ha ha, suckers!

My way or the highway!

My way is the only way!

Couple standing in a stream, catching fish.

SIS (narrating)

Fortunately, most of us get pretty good at it after early childhood. Self-awareness is a standard component of social maturity.

In bands, exceptions must have been rare.

GIRL

Maybe your era can tolerate people who don’t have much self-awareness.

GUY

But in ours…?

Feedback contraption, churning inputs (praise, facial expressions, gestures, body language, laughter, “No!”, blushing, tone of voice, tears, smiles, social emotions) into a green beam of positive rewards (promote pro-social behavior) and a red beam of negative restraints (repress selfish urges).

SIS (narrating)

But there’s a lot more going on, far away from your consciousness. Pre-conscious processes and neurotransmitters form a complex feedback app that picks up on social signals and cues, on compliments and criticisms, and on your own self-assessments — and then it adjusts your behavior accordingly.

When it’s working properly, you learn to do the right thing automatically — you do what’s right because it’s what you do, not ‘cause you thought it through.

GREEN BEAM

Positive rewards include actual physical pleasures like euphoria, comfort, thrills… and emotions like happiness, pride, and joy. Doing good literally makes you feel good, and want to keep doing it.

RED BEAM

Negative restraints include physical discomfort and even pain (ever suffer heartbreak? mental anguish? that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach?)… and unpleasant emotions like shame, dismay, and sadness. Social disapproval makes us feel miserable, and we really do not want to feel that way again.

Stick figures

SIS (narrating)

Negative feedback affects us more. The downsides of losing worth, of rejection and exclusion, could be deadly terrible.

ANGUISHED

I’m starving!

vs.

OFFERING FOOD

More?

BIG BELLY

No thanks, I’m stuffed!

SIS (narrating)

Positive rewards are great, but once you’re accepted it’s not like you need more acceptance.

You didn’t need to be extra-awesome, but you couldn’t afford to be even a little awful.

That said, the good feedback is really good!

Oxytocin hugging and smiling.

SIS (narrating)

Your autonomic nervous system uses a cocktail of neurotransmitters and hormones to regulate your social as unconsciously as your heartbeat. One of the major players is oxytocin.

[SUGGESTED EDIT: Change “regulate your social” to “regulate your social behavior”]

Worried half of Oxy T being comforted by the other half

SIS (narrating)

This one’s all about our feelings for other people. Oxytocin is behind the bonds we form — bonds of love, affection, loyalty, friendship. It’s what stimulates altruism and self-sacrifice. And it helps steer us towards pro-social behavior.

Pro-social behavior (by you, and by others) causes Oxy T. to calm stress and fear hormones…

OXY T.

Shh, it’s okay. We’re here for you.

Both halves smiling happily with each other

SIS (narrating)

…While stimulating your brain’s reward system, making you feel safe and comfortable and happy.

People engaged in social behaviors

SIS (narrating)

Whenever you engage in social activity, oxytocin and its effects condition you to feel trust and affection for those you’re sharing the experience with.

Women holding hands and jumping with excitement.

SIS (narrating)

Social contact counts, too! Holding hands, hugging, cuddling… all these physical connections are rewarded.

Undressed couple sharing a loving moment.

SIS (narrating)

Sex can flood you with the stuff…

…especially if you already have an emotional bond.

“Three is a magic number” family again.

SIS (narrating)

Skin-to-skin contact between a mother and her baby stimulates massive waves of oxytocin, reinforcing ever more powerful feelings of love, and instincts of motherly care.

(It works on fathers a little, too, though dads seem to form stronger bonds by playing with their kids and helping them explore their world.)

Teen boys from before.

SIS (narrating)

Importantly, oxytocin helps your brain identify (and recognize) which people matter to you.

BOYS

Team!

I love these guys!

Team!

SIS (narrating)

And it reinforces your empathy for those people. You feel their pain. You’re more likely to aid your teammates and sacrifice on their behalf.

Good survival skill!

Text box

SIS (narrating)

On the flip side: Oxytocin increases your distrust of strangers!

That seems odd for a system designed for bonding, right? But in fact it reinforces antipathy and aversion to “the other.”

Joe confused, Sis shrugging

JOE

But isn’t xenophobia the opposite of pro-social behavior?

SIS

Yeah, but if you think about it, even if strangers weren’t a threat, they still wouldn’t have been invested in helping you.

Putting yourself at risk for someone who won’t reciprocate? That would have been pointless.

…So evolution seems to have favored a system that inhibits us from doing that.

Text box

SIS (narrating)

This tension between “us” and “them” will go on to be the eternal struggle of government.

Who counts as “one of us”?

And what if those with power don’t think we’re “one of us”?

These are questions that will drive political conflict and development from the Paleolithic to Philadelphia…

…to the present!

Blissed-out dopamine and scattered drugs.

SIS (narrating)

Oxytocin rewards pro-social behavior with dopamine.

Dr. D. is the one who makes it all feel good.

His job is to motivate your brain to do that social stuff again!

To give you an idea of how good he is at his job, modern drugs like cocaine and meth work by imitating the positive social feedback we get from dopamine.

Just about every addictive drug plays with our dopamine pathway in one way or another.

Sunny serotonin

SIS (narrating)

Seratonin is another important one, involved in social cues and signals, and working behind the scenes to make sure you’re getting along with everyone.

SARA T.

Hi! Call me Sara!

You look great, by the way!

I’m not like the other guys
— I don’t reward you for what you’ve done…

My job is to get you in a better mood going forward!

I’m here to perk you up, make you a more open and cheerful you… a more sociable and likeable you!

…A more worthwhile worthy you!

Sara T. turning up dial, strengthening bond between tinkertoy neurons like Hippy the hippocampus did.

SIS (narrating)

Like her cousin Oxy, Sara doesn’t work like an on-off switch, making big changes all at once.

They gradually build their effects over time. Little adjustments to your brain’s wiring that strengthen this association, weaken that one.

SARA T.

I’m gonna turn that one up a smidge!

SIS (narrating)

But if they keep turning that dial, day after day, the cumulative effects can be potent! Robust feelings of attachment, loyalty, empathy, sociability, etc. that can withstand whatever the world throws at them.

Happy singing seratonins

SIS (narrating)

Seratonin basically makes you feel awesome when you and yours are getting along and playing nice.

SINGING SERATONINS

Everything is awesome!

Everything is cool when you’re part of a team!

Worth-o-Meter spewing forth lots of seratonins

SIS (narrating)

Your Worth-O-Meter has a big effect on your serotonin levels. The more you feel like others approve of you, the more the world just seems right — and the more serotonin gets pumped into your brain…

SEROTONINS

Feelin’ groovy!

SIS (narrating)

…and the more you feel pro-social, cooperative, confident, friendly, relaxed…

…so others like you even more…

…making you produce even more serotonin and want to keep winning approval!

Worried Sara

Sara T.

Oh no, people who matter to you are criticizing you. Rejecting you.

SIS (narrating)

But if things aren’t going her way?

Furious Sara on fire

Sara T.

You want feedback?

I’ll give you feedback!

How’s that feel, motherfucker? Like someone kicked you in the gut? That’s right, I just activated your pain regions!

You gonna be antisocial again, motherfucker? Nah, I didn’t think so!

Sis and Joe talking heads

SIS

That’s only a few of the hormones that regulate our communal behavior kinda instinctively.

There’s neuropeptide Y, and acetylcholine…

JOE

Ha! I told you it was hormones!

SIS

Testosterone is your “let’s do it!” hormone.

In more ways than one.

Believe it or not, higher testosterone increases your friendliness, cooperation, and altruism.

JOE

I thought it made you more aggressive.

SIS

Not all aggression is anti-social.

It spikes dramatically during challenges that are important to self-worth, driving up your dopamine to motivate you to do well, take risks, and go all out for the team!

Text starts getting smaller and smaller

I guess the “I give up hormone is cortisol?

[SUGGESTED EDIT: Close the quotes after “I give up]

This one’s produced when you think you might lose status.

When you psyche yourself out before a challenge, cortisol is your confidence killer — it makes you do even worse.

[SUGGESTED EDIT: Change “psyche” to “psych”]

You pay too much attention to what other people are thinking, you get self-conscious, shy, stressed… the opposite of “cool”…

BIG text

ANYWAY…

Nurse hauling several people on gurneys into an operating room where surgery is already going on.

SIS (narrating)

There’s more to internal self-regulation than mere chemistry. You can think, after all!

When faced with a choice, you can stop…

NURSE

Doctor! There’s been a terrible accident. These five men need transplants right now or they will die!

Luckily, the patient you’re operating on is a perfect match — we could chop him up for parts!

SURGEON

Just a moment, nurse.

SIS (narrating)

Think it through…

SURGEON (thinking)

Hmm… If I do nothing, five people will die.

If I act, then only one person will die, and five will be saved…

And we could always blame the anaesthesiologist…

SIS (narrating)

…and do what you think is best.

SURGEON

I’m sorry, nurse. While it is sad and tragic that these men are dying…

It would be immoral for me to actively kill this one.

Ghostly image of brain looking at the brain

SIS (narrating)

For the most part, however, you don’t stop to noodle through everything you do. If you’ve been properly socialized, you have a lifetime of training in what’s right and wrong — you don’t have to think about it any more than you have to think about your name… or how to walk. You just intuitively know what to do.

It’s not conscious… It’s

CONSCIENCE

Your conscience lets you step outside of yourself to assess your conduct from society’s perspective.

One way is to imagine yourself doing something, and judging whether it would be okay.

GHOST BRAIN (singing)

I’m on the outside… I’m looking in…

Fork in the road with signpost “DO THIS” and “DO THAT” with the “do this” path blocked by “ROAD CLOSED” and “NOT AN OPTION” barriers.

SIS (narrating)

In a way, your conscience limits what options are even available to you, regulating your behavior before you even start.

The more well-socialized you are, the more your conscience keeps you on the straight and narrow — even when nobody else is around to see!

You’re demonstrating good character — another way of saying worth!

And that’s a powerful mechanism of human social regulatio-

Sis making an X “time out” gesture.

SIS

Now stop for a moment. Just… stop.

This internal self-regulation stuff is all well and good…

But if you ask me, it’s all secondary!

It all depends on what other people would consider “acceptable.”

What’s primary has to be what your community already feels is “right” or “wrong.”

Sis, looking frazzled but triumphant

SIS

So if you don’t mind, I’d like to explore the external ways that we humans regulate each other’s behavior.

Without politics…

Without princes, presidents, or potentates…

But with…