The Illustrated Guide to Criminal Law
Chapter 8: What Have You Done?
Page 2: Assault
For example, Joe here is charged with Assault in the First Degree, for putting Simon in the hospital for life with severe brain damage.
Joe looking stern and upset
JOE
He deserved worse.
Their state has a simplified criminal code, which defines the crime this way:
Crim. Code of State X
A person commits Assault in the First Degree when he:
(1) Intends to kill, main, or cause permanent and severe injury to another person; and
(2) Causes that person, or another person, to be maimed or permanently and severely injured.
I like to imagine this is actually a completely hilarious lawyer joke, and that someone with a Law degree would be falling on the floor laughing at the idea of a definition this short.
Well, it is ‘simplified’.
Actually, a lot of definitions are about this length, sans footnotes. For example, look at the revised code of washington.