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Constitutional Law
Part 2: “What Were They Thinking?”
Digression: “A History of Government in 6 Revolutions: From the Paleolithic to Philadelphia”
114. Inventing God and Law: Pious Frauds
Title: Part H: Pious Frauds
Panel 1: Average Joe (as a talking head) floats over a stylized ancient walled city.
JOE:
The great blessing of institutions is that they are permanent.
-=-
Panel 2: With a BLORT, a dump truck covers the walled city with concrete. Joe continues as a talking head.
JOE:
But the great curse of institutions is that they are permanent.
Inertia sets in, and they fail to adapt to new realities. Institutions can even hold society back, as they grow increasingly irrelevant… out of touch… unaccountable…
…and even unjust!
-=-
Panel 3: The city congeals under its coating of concrete. In the foreground, The State grabs her throat as she chokes on concrete that has crawled up her torso to cover one arm and the side of her head. Her coated arm is held out to stop it, but her little finger has broken off and falls into the next panel.
JOE (offscreen):
Some even call this phenomenon “institutional inertia.”
But I prefer to think of it as INSTITUTIONAL ARTHRITIS.
Left untreated, it tends to harden, constrict, and choke its own society to death!
-=-
Panel 4: The concrete-covered city erupts with magma like a volcano, ejecting angry people with pitchforks and torches and spears and swords and protest signs.
JOE (offscreen):
Or else societal pressure gets so intense that it bursts forth in bloody revolt!
ANGRY PERSON:
Burn it all down!
-=-
Panel 5: A group of ancient bureaucrats sit in a dark, lamplit room, writing in scrolls. The center bureaucrat has a pointed white beard, and looks at the reader with irritation. The bureaucrat to the right is fat, has a bushy beard, and smiles as he gestures dismissively.
JOE (offscreen):
To prevent such catastrophe, astute leaders often sought to reform their institutions.
That meant facing opposition from within the institutions themselves.
A “deep state” of priests, elites, and bureaucratic officials could always be counted on to actively resist implementing any reforms.
IRRITATED BUREAUCRAT:
Trust us: We’ve been doing things the right way for a long time.
Changing it would be wrong.
JOE (offscreen):
The only way to get them to support innovations was to satisfy them that the gods themselves wanted these reforms.
FAT BUREAUCRAT:
You don’t have the gods’ express approval?
Oh dear.
Your “reform” is doomed to fail.
-=-
Title: Part H: Pious Frauds (cont’d)
Panel 6: A middle-eastern man gazes into a Magic 8-Ball. The ball’s answer, just barely readable, is “Don’t bet on it.”
NARRATION:
In the ancient and classical world, there were two tried-and-true methods for demonstrating divine approval.
The First was to consult an oracle, or do some divination, and hope that the gods said “yes.”
-=-
Panel 7: An upset bearded man holds his head in shocked dismay upon seeing a written document that someone is pointing to.
NARRATION:
But if you wanted certainty?
Then you’d commission an “ancient” sacred text: a tablet or scroll revealing that the gods didn’t just approve, they’d wanted it your way all along!
MAN:
Goatdroppings!
We’ve been doing it wrong this whole time!
-=-
Panel 8: A view of the Earth, with the Middle East at the center of the view.
NARRATION:
“Ancient” was key—in the pre-modern world, antiquity carried enormous authority.
ANCIENT VOICE 1:
Besides, what works best, lasts longest!
ANCIENT VOICE 2:
Who can deny the wisdom of our ancestors?
ANCIENT VOICE 3:
And the older the source, the fewer errors in transmission!
ANCIENT VOICE 4:
It’s only you “modern” people who think “newer” means “better.”
-=-
Panel 9: The interior of an ancient throne room. A king is seated on a throne whose armrests are the wings of beasts with a Mesopotamian man’s bearded and crowned head, and the body of a four-footed beast with a tail. The king’s feet rest on a shiny golden chest labeled “The King’s Things.”
NARRATION:
So, ideally, you’d discover your tablet or scroll in an ancient holy place—perhaps at the feet of a god.
(Just as kings typically kept important documents in a box at their feet.)
-=-
Panel 10: Text box.
NARRATION:
This sort of thing was more common than many realize.
In fact, you might have a difficult time identifying dynasties that didn’t employ such “pious frauds” at one point or another!
-=-
Panel 11: Josiah stands before the temple of Jerusalem, holding out an unfurled scroll as he gestures to the temple’s golden doors. To one side, an enormous metal bowl rests on the backs of many metal oxen. To the other side, steps mount to the top of a gigantic altar.
NARRATION:
Long story short: Josiah pulled the same stunt…
…and it worked.