Constitutional Law

Part 2: “What Were They Thinking?”

Digression: “A History of Government in 6 Revolutions: From the Paleolithic to Philadelphia”

118. Inventing God and Law: A New Identity

 

TITLE: Part L: A New Identity

 

Panel 1: Two young Yehudan men. One has a fez and a big foam #1 hand, which he’s raising excitedly. The other, perplexed, is gesturing offscreen. He’s wearing a turban.

 

NARRATION:

All peoples—even those of minor imperial outposts—need to feel special. We all have to have some reason to feel that our team is the best.

 

FEZ GUY:

We’re number one!

 

TURBAN GUY:

How? You just got your asses handed to you by one empire…

 

-=-

 

Panel 2: Turban Guy lifts his arms to a map of the Persian Empire, which stretches from India to the Balkans, from Turkey to Libya.

 

TURBAN GUY:

…and now you’re engulfed by an even greater one.

 

FEZ GUY:

True, we may not be the mightiest people on Earth.

 

-=-

 

Panel 3: Fez Guy is still exuberant, and Turban Guy is shrugging irritatedly.

 

FEZ GUY:

But our god is the mightiest god in the heavens!

 

TURBAN GUY:

So?

 

-=-

 

Panel 4: Fez Guy proudly points his thumb at his chest.

 

FEZ GUY:

So we are the only people he protects.

We’re his chosen people!

 

-=-

 

Panel 5: Turban Guy spreads his arms, Fez Guy crosses his.

 

TURBAN GUY:

So where was your god when Babylon came knocking?

 

FEZ GUY:

Shush.

 

-=-

 

Panel 6: Fez guy excitedly raises his #1 foam hand again, while Turban Guy leans in and looks off to the side.

 

FEZ GUY:

Who’s better than us! We’re number one!

 

TURBAN GUY:

Back up…

 

-=-

 

Panel 7: With a POKE!, Turban Guy jabs Fez Guy hard in the chest with his finger.

 

TURBAN GUY:

Why you?

How come he doesn’t protect anyone else?

 

FEZ GUY:

Because of our covenant!

 

TURBAN GUY:

Your cov- what?

 

FEZ GUY:

We have a contract with God!

 

-=-

 

Panel 8: Fez Guy gestures to a large scroll with the terms of a contract written on it in ancient Imperial Aramaic, complete with a foil seal and signature lines.

 

FEZ GUY:

In exchange for us all worshipping only Yahweh, he protects only us.

 

TURBAN GUY:

But isn’t your king the one who keeps your god happy? You know, on everyone’s behalf?

 

FEZ GUY:

Ah.

About that…